We replay our emotional patterns over and over again. How do we develop a sense of humor about them? What are the ways that we’re difficult to be with? It’s almost a miracle that love is able to burst through these patterns. Negative self-talk: we circulate there. How do we take perspective on our drama? How can we love in spite of the drama? To the degree that we identify with those patterns, we miss the mark of love. We tell ourselves stories that either “Nobody loves me” or “You’re not worthy of my love
Can we change our patterns in intimacy?
Why purposeless men blame women.
Why heart-guarded women create drama with men.
As you become more sensitive, do you have to suffer more?
Why life’s problems seem endless.
Underneath everything, who are we, really?
Marriage retreats give couples the chance to take a break from the mayhem ups and downs of everyday life. Removed from the stresses of children, careers, and housework, couples get the opportunity to work on themselves. At some marriage counseling retreats, couples get to spend time in individualized couples therapy as well as group therapy. At other marriage retreats, however, therapy may not be such a prominent part of the program, and instead, couples will get to engage in exercises and activities that help them strengthen their marital bonds. Unless conditions are set up for therapy sessions beforehand, my usual couples retreats focus more on the couples themselves, and group work amidst attending couples.
These retreats can be useful for couples in all stages of marriage. While some couples wait until they are on the brink of divorce to attend a retreat, others sign up for a retreat to prepare for marriage. Still, others start to look for retreats when they first feel that their relationships are getting a little rocky. Either way, taking the time to focus on repairing and recharging the partnership affords the pair the best chance for overcoming negative pattern dynamics and establishing empowering alternatives.
My husband and I have been working with Bert for six months now. When we came to see him initially, we were really close to giving up. We had seen other counselors and coaches both as a couple and separately, but it hadn’t make any substantial lasting changes in our relationship. After a few sessions with Bert, I knew that this was the right person for us to work with; he had earned our trust, and I knew he would offer us the right mixture of challenge and encouragement. What ultimately shifted our relationship — our way of being with each other — was the experience of being with Bert; he constantly inspires and challenges us to live as our best selves, modeling how we might grow into something new, while helping to illuminate the inner dialogue or the behavior that could keep us stuck where we are. Bert has helped to map out the way that adults develop throughout their lives, and so it’s reassuring to hear him say we’re making progress, because he knows what progress really is: not just a horizontal translation into better skills and techniques, but also vertical growth into different ways of experiencing, being, and knowing. When we started, we were drowning in a sea of issues and disagreements; it’s clear now that we are on a learning journey together, and I feel so honored to have Bert on the journey with us, acting as our coach, mentor, and teacher.”
Marcy Deluce, San Francisco, CA
Our WPO Dallas Chapter is appreciative of your excellent work in helping to kick off and facilitate the first meetings with new forums (both member forums and also NextGen forums). Members of the young adult forum were inspired, and told me you were terrific in helping them with the need for commitment, mutual respect and confidentiality. Recently, some of us WPO’ers were reflecting on how you bring a creative blend of support and challenge to forum work, so as to bake the learning without burning it. Thank you for walking us along that edge.
Bert is an exceptional teacher and an invaluable partner in our YPO Forum training program. What sets Bert apart is not his strong ability to connect a new YPO member to the core principles and values of Forum. Rather, it is his ability to help a YPO member truly experience the power of Forum as part of the training experience that makes him so special. I never hesitate to ask members to spend a whole day with Bert because I know they will leave that day energized by the power of Forum and even more excited about the value of YPO. Inviting Bert into your forum creates transformation. Indeed, it may prove to be the most transformative experience your forum will have.
Just a quick thank you for the Forum Fundamentals training yesterday. I have a much deeper appreciation for the concept and the beauty of what I consider to be a very exciting part of YPO. Your teaching style is at once informative and creative. “Playfully insightful” captures it for me.
Thank you for meeting with our forum. We were in a “make it or break it mode”. After taking the time to get recalibrated with our forum and recommitted to our goals, all of our members decided to stay with our forum. Since then, we have all put forth more intentional effort to prepare for our meetings and to go deeper in our presentations and updates. The value the members have been able to take away from our meetings has increased tremendously. I appreciate your help in getting us focused on the possibilities that we had in our forum that we had forgotten how to achieve. Thank you for your preparation for our meeting and for steering us to the realization that we wanted to achieve more and could achieve more from our forum experience.
I wanted to thank you for the training and coaching you conducted for our chapter. You were definitely the man for the job! I was very worried that one person wouldn’t be able to address all the different needs that our chapter had through a weeklong process with so many different forums. But your background and education proved to be EXACTLY what we needed. Your name continues to be brought up at our chapter events and we look forward to working together in the future. Thanks again for the successful training and moderating… let’s stay in touch.
Bert stands out amongst other YPO facilitators I’ve experienced over the years. I would recommend his expertise highly to forums interested in a powerful learning experience. Bert brought a very thoughtful and client centered approach to our forum retreat. It was just what we needed. Amidst some standing challenges, he skillfully facilitated a raw and natural working-through process. Bert was pleasant, affordable and accommodating, and I would highly recommend him to others.
Bert crafted an amazing YPO retreat experience, and he is a pleasure to work with altogether. We made great strides in creating a solid foundation for our group to build upon going forward. He makes magic seem so easy. Moreover, Bert’s communication skills are best in class. Whether your forum is well seasoned or just starting out, if you are stuck or you’re thriving, Bert will meet you where you are and take your group to the next stage.
Bert’s teaching mastery unfolds naturally. He puts you at ease and you trust him right away. His well-developed sense of humor is complemented with a breadth of knowledge that makes learning a fun journey of discovery.
Bert stands out amongst other YPO facilitators I’ve experienced over the years. I would recommend his expertise highly to forums interested in a powerful learning experience.
Thank you for facilitating our retreat. Everything that had been stuck moved along so surprisingly well. We accomplished what I’d only dreamed we could. And thank you so much for the bonus talks in the car which were eye-opening and mind-changing. Wow! Life is full of twists, turns, and surprises.