Couples Retreats

We replay our emotional patterns over and over again. How do we develop a sense of humor about them? What are the ways that we’re difficult to be with? It’s almost a miracle that love is able to burst through these patterns. Negative self-talk: we circulate there. How do we take perspective on our drama? How can we love in spite of the drama? To the degree that we identify with those patterns, we miss the mark of love. We tell ourselves stories that either “Nobody loves me” or “You’re not worthy of my love

Can we change our patterns in intimacy?

Why purposeless men blame women.

Why heart-guarded women create drama with men.

As you become more sensitive, do you have to suffer more?

Why life’s problems seem endless.

Underneath everything, who are we, really?

Marriage retreats give couples the chance to take a break from the mayhem ups and downs of everyday life. Removed from the stresses of children, careers, and housework, couples get the opportunity to work on themselves. At some marriage counseling retreats, couples get to spend time in individualized couples therapy as well as group therapy. At other marriage retreats, however, therapy may not be such a prominent part of the program, and instead, couples will get to engage in exercises and activities that help them strengthen their marital bonds. Unless conditions are set up for therapy sessions beforehand, my usual couples retreats focus more on the couples themselves, and group work amidst attending couples.

These retreats can be useful for couples in all stages of marriage. While some couples wait until they are on the brink of divorce to attend a retreat, others sign up for a retreat to prepare for marriage. Still, others start to look for retreats when they first feel that their relationships are getting a little rocky. Either way, taking the time to focus on repairing and recharging the partnership affords the pair the best chance for overcoming negative pattern dynamics and establishing empowering alternatives.

Marriage retreats give couples the chance to take a break from the mayhem ups and downs of everyday life. Removed from the stresses of children, careers, and housework, couples get the opportunity to work on themselves. At some marriage counseling retreats, couples get to spend time in individualized couples therapy as well as group therapy. At other marriage retreats, however, therapy may not be such a prominent part of the program, and instead, couples will get to engage in exercises and activities that help them strengthen their marital bonds. Unless conditions are set up for therapy sessions beforehand, my usual couples retreats focus more on the couples themselves, and group work amidst attending couples.

These retreats can be useful for couples in all stages of marriage. While some couples wait until they are on the brink of divorce to attend a retreat, others sign up for a retreat to prepare for marriage. Still, others start to look for retreats when they first feel that their relationships are getting a little rocky. Either way, taking the time to focus on repairing and recharging the partnership affords the pair the best chance for overcoming negative pattern dynamics and establishing empowering alternatives.

My husband and I have been working with Bert for six months now. When we came to see him initially, we were really close to giving up. We had seen other counselors and coaches both as a couple and separately, but it hadn’t make any substantial lasting changes in our relationship. After a few sessions with Bert, I knew that this was the right person for us to work with; he had earned our trust, and I knew he would offer us the right mixture of challenge and encouragement. What ultimately shifted our relationship — our way of being with each other — was the experience of being with Bert; he constantly inspires and challenges us to live as our best selves, modeling how we might grow into something new, while helping to illuminate the inner dialogue or the behavior that could keep us stuck where we are. Bert has helped to map out the way that adults develop throughout their lives, and so it’s reassuring to hear him say we’re making progress, because he knows what progress really is: not just a horizontal translation into better skills and techniques, but also vertical growth into different ways of experiencing, being, and knowing. When we started, we were drowning in a sea of issues and disagreements; it’s clear now that we are on a learning journey together, and I feel so honored to have Bert on the journey with us, acting as our coach, mentor, and teacher.”

Marcy Deluce, San Francisco, CA

I chose Bert Parlee to be my coach after watching him facilitate an Integral Workshop in New York City. His presentation was excellent. His leadership was inclusive and inviting; his presence warm and personable. I could not imagine a better candidate for coaching me through a significant turning point in my life. So, while the workshop participants were saying their farewells and gradually leaving the meeting space, I (and a couple of others) approached Bert and asked him to be my coach. He agreed and handed me his business card with its nautilus shell logo. Perfect!

Great coaching, in my view, provides a safe space for exploration and growth. Bert managed this space with skill and grace. In each session I found his responses to me to be perfect for what I needed at the time. He is deep a listener capable of insightful and appropriate observations and suggestions.

If you are looking for integral coaching, you are wise to consider Bert Parlee. Of course each person’s approach to integral coaching, by definition, will differ according to the matrix of needs, skills and capacities of both the client and coach. My experience with Bert proved to be much richer and more fulfilling than I could possibly have imagined.

Kelly Snodgrass, Albany NY

I first had the pleasure of experiencing Dr. Parlee’s talents when I enrolled for a weeklong training he led on Leadership in Westminster, Colorado. I was so impressed with his ability to weave world-class, cutting edge information with powerfully designed and skillfully implemented experiential learning that I approached him on the spot to take my organization through a year long Leadership Training Program.

Bert is not only a world-class professional trainer, but he does so with a confidence that is complemented by highly attuned interpersonal sensitivity and empathic attunement. People are drawn to Bert as a person, enjoying his openness, authenticity and warmth.

I would be delighted to furnish any further information, either written or via telephone, that might assist you in your decision-making relative to Dr. Parlee.

Rick Fort, President, ESM

I met Dr. Bert Parlee in 2004 when he was leading an Integral Transformative Workshop in Colorado. Years later, while I was seeking ways to become “unstuck” regarding my transition to a new challenge after decades with IBM, I reached out to Bert to see if he would become my personal coach. Now, after nearly 10 months of coaching with Bert, I have gained a greater understanding into who I am and who I am becoming. Bert provides insight and wisdom across a wide range of disciplines. While using an active inquiry method of questioning and counseling to assist in understanding underlying issues, emotions, passions, blockages, and challenges, Bert has helped me develop my own insights and strategies that are assisting me in my professional career and in my personal relationships. I have immensely enjoyed our work together and recommend Bert highly.

Jim Loving, IBM: Business Executive Development.

Bert’s remarkable range of understanding informs how my career development must be aligned with my personal and spiritual growth. His guidance has facilitated great optimism and practical problem-solving.

Jon Palarz, L.A.